freed freedom. . . .. . . . . . . … .from Sartre.

In that responsibility, that ability to respond adequately to our freedom, we may find a negative positive state of mind, of man’as mind.  Will we be able to find harmony or alienation in realizing that complete totality of being that that awareness that I am is ?  Is completion freedom superior & a priori to self-imposed bondage of ignoring that free freed freedom being that I am is ?  In that I am is finding freedom preferable to slavish attention to na me, narrative memory required to sustain a notional identity?  That irony of continuing to refer & defer to that free being that, that I am is as first person in saying “that I am only Joey Soanso” “that I am writing”, “that I am laughing”, “that I am crying”, “that I am sleeping”; all while denying or ignoring in that awareness that I am is in favor of confusion in being spell(ing)bound as though(t) na me reminds of value for appreciating & respecting responsibility for truth of being.  If in that I am heeding that re mind while awake will others appreciate being reminded ?

W/so many ignoring freedom in favor of the indeterminate life sentencing in the spell(ing) of na me, narrative memory, we may find mostly resentment & annoyance & eve’n(a) anger from those wearing self-imposed chains of ignore-ance when confronted w/the possibility of tossing them off.  It seems that like the story of the rolling rock of Sisyphus, a man condemned by the gods to roll a rock up hill only to watch it roll back down, we may be temporarily happy w/business of being distracted from our freedom by being busy.  In that busy-ness we may take great pains to ignore & avoid the fact that as human being, that being as though(t) a hue & cry of man as mind, we have no real purpose, beyond procreation, EXCEPT discerning that freedom being before we appear to disappear in d’na, in denial of that permanence in the midst of impermanence.  For that discernment eve’n(a) while under the near complete spell(ing) of na me, narrative memory, we might need to remind, mind or consider re; that awareness that that I am is, ourself as often & as much as possible.  That that I am is complete completion means d’na\/denial of that remains in any sense incomplete as we experience experiencing in other bodies, other states of that consciousness as though(t) dream & sleep.  These bodies offer alternative models of that reality being as subtle & un-manifest na-tivity\/d’na-tivity\/act-tivity\/actor acting actuality.  In these models we directly experience experiencing that I am as appearing, disappearing, & reappearing in subtle thought form & complete blissful formless darkness w/infinite potential for light in any & all as though(t) form as Y(why) that I am is.  In & as that we may find the continuous continuity being that awareness that that I am is in always all ways of(waves) that being center centered centrality is.  Still stillness\/immortal immortality, these bodies retain that appearance of disappearance in being na thing as though(t) d’na(denied) in eve’re thing, eve’re where, eve’re time.  Thus that spell(ing) of na me though(t) depending on re; that first principal principle thing awareness that that I am is as though(t) eve’re thing will na reveal being that.

“They are deeply immersed in illusions & dream images(na me); their eye glides over the surface of things & sees(streams in consciousness) ‘forms’; their feeling nowhere leads into truth(rather in d’na, denial of that truth), but contents itself w/the reception of stimuli, playing as it were, a game of blindman’s bluff on the backs of things(re; eve’re thing(s))”                        Nietzsche

In other words, near constant distraction w/essentially meaningless games of chance & necessity will only serve to reinforce our very ignore-ance & contempt for liberation.  You may find that contempt of indifference to free being running throughout na me as mean, means, & meaning for maintaining that notional id\/identity of na me.  This mental ‘towering wall’ eve’n(a) of necessity as though(t) precludes realizing that freedom till ‘lightening’ strikes as realization of that awareness that that I am is.  That lightening streams incessantly in seeing sight(psy’t) eve’n(a) as though(ts) of being other, being na me, from the lantern(knowing ka know’ledge  ‘held above’, as presence  presented by that hermetic hermit Yod, ‘the old one’ of consciousness illuminating k(a)nower k(a)nowing k(a)nowledge eve’n(a) in ignore-ance of eve’re thing as though(t) na me, whether we want freedom or na, or d’na(deny) it.  That illuminating illumination is merely(mirror-ly) that ‘old one’ observing observation in eve’re being in that awareness that that I am is.  In that liberation is na possible possibility being that awareness that that I am is all along.  In other words that liberation may only as na, as though(t) be gained or lost as again & a loss.

It seems we commit so much of our lives polishing, decorating, & adding latest trendy links to our spell(ing)bound chains that we must continue as though(t) being bound till death do us part.  We do na.  We, in all actuality, do, as though(t) an\/na me.  We as though(t) emit na, that na thing, for the sake of d’na.

Is this compulsion based on the notion that death, or the dissolution of apparent body, is automatic final liberation ?  Will na me reveal that being on its own, as though na attached?  Will that only appear as na me?  Can that appear w/out na me?  Some may think that gamey distraction will only continue as we rejoin past na mes in the ‘spirit’ world where we play heavenly Monopoly & Dungeons & Dragons till the chickens come home to roost.  Do we really like games that much that we might consider playing eternally?  Is this where heaven merges w/hell?  Observing the compulsiveness of gaming, we might wonder just how long it might take to exhaust such need, such desire for distraction from the issue, the streaming of free being.  It could be said that eve’n(a) inevitable exhaustion leads to sleep only to wake up to that same compulsive desire for preoccupation to avoid & ignore the responsibility of complete freedom like unbroken links in that all too proud ‘pride’ chain we yank down around our necks as though(t) being na me rather than merely(mirror-ly) observing that eve’n(a) in all actuality of eve’re thing.

Between the empirical waking consciousness & that complete dissolution of singular sacred darkness causal body lies that subtle body of dream wherein we may find our greater seemingly eternal na me.  This subtle body of na me, narrative memory is said to encompass all past passing na me as though(t) lives lived that might stack like 10,000 winters of cord wood.  Still, throughout this bewildering labyrinth of nuanced thought form, that awareness in which all this appearing appearance arises eve’re thing remains in fact & fiction that non-attached free being that I am is streaming as though(t) d’na(denial) in eve’re thing.

That dream body serves to model that center centered centrality of indivisible individual consciousness which is in beginning-middle-end ka’s mic\/memory-intelligence-consciousness.  Though this center centered centrality of being is easier to discern in dream, the essential problem of apparent duality(do-ality\/actor acting actuality between subject that I am & objective objectivity that I am as though(t) na me remains.  Thus consciousness in dream or spirit body does as though(t) d’na denies automatic revelation of being that free freed freedom.  Ignore-ance of that continues in dream of heaven or hell in a subtle d’na(denial) till time-space ‘runs’ back into re; that black (w)hole of infinite potential for light & a na there beginning-middle-end as though(t) na me only to emerge in as ka’ing Y(why) that I am is.  Y\/you\/yod is Y(why) we must X’s’ka Y Z(ayin\/I am).

The question Y(why), that quest i\/I on, that as though(t) journey to that great go al(l) is means & meaning to answer Y-that I am.

Are we responsible, able to respond to that question Y(why) that I am free freed freedom?  Or are we as though(t) condemned to it as a spell(ing)bound life sentence in ignore-ance & gamey distraction ?  Are we na now re ad’y to ignore ignore-ance to take responsibility for that free freed freedom in that I am reading this ?